when life gets tough..and it sometimes will

I feel like every time I post now it’s regarding the extremes. Either super fun great times….or horrible shitty times. Unfortunately this post is a mesh up of all of that!
Last time we spoke I had just gotten back from an amazing work trip regarding diverse philanthropy in D.C. I went to a few museums and overall had the best time.
Then the following month, my mom was involved in a horrible car accident — a guy hit her head-on going 60 mph. She suffered tremendous injuries that will unfortunately affect her long-term. We’re praying for a full recovery, and honestly she is recovering beautifully. We are truly blessed. Then the following month, my husband’s best friend lost a loved one suddenly. It’s been non-stop action over here. 2018 has been quite the horror movie for us. One traumatic happening after the next. BUT it has put so many things in perspective for me!
1. Call your parents.
I know that life gets in the way and you’re working and eating and going out and blah blah. I remember my Dad calling me about my mom’s car accident and my heart just dropped. It is the worst feeling. So yea. Call your parents more often then you do. I talk to my mom everyday now.
2. Talk to your therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist.
My psychiatrist has been #bae this past year. 2018 has been a doozy, and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her. And Daisy!! My psychiatrist and puppy are clutch during these troubling times! But in all seriousness, mental health is so important and I truly believe that regular visits just to talk things out are crucial in your/our well-being.
3. Talk to your spouse.
One of the things I’ve been talking about in therapy is my inability to show vulnerability. I hate being vulnerable..exposed. I go to the extremes to not feel anything. In doing so, my spouse is left to wonder how he can support me emotionally because I’m constantly like “no, I’m good! let’s talk about you!” This is an ongoing struggle but now that I know what I’m doing I’m more aware when I’m doing it.
4. Love the ones who love you.
My close circle of friends have been amazing during this time. My mom’s sisters/family  have rallied around my mother and I just love it. My sister…my mom’s dance group…her close friends and family friends..my in-laws..countless others. Like..the people in your life who love you will show up and they’ll keep showing up!
However, you have to be able to deal with the people who don’t show up. I’ve been going back and forth about this with my psychiatrist because there are some people who have been spotty/brief with their communications…or just silent. And it’s like…hmmm.
If anything it’s made me realize who the members of my tribe are. People who will always be there for me….the ones you can depend on. I only have time for people who make time for me…and this difficult time has made me see things so clearly. And it’s no bitterness in this! I have love for everyone…but time is precious! I’m focusing on my loved ones.
5. Stop eating.
LOL. This one is for the emotional eaters out there! I gained 10 pounds in like 2 months just because of stress!!!!! Now…I’m back with my nutritional coach…back on the road to visible abs. I just got off a juice cleanse to re-set my body back in diet mode and it was roughhhhh but I’m ready! Diet has always been my struggle- working out is the easiest part for me.
6. Pray
I start to feel tense when I don’t do my nightly prayers. I have this Catholic app on my ipad and I do the readings from each day and a prayer of my own. I can’t express how much this has helped with my healing..and it’s such a no-brainer for me. My faith has really gotten me through this year and I’m so thankful for his Grace.
love and light xoxoxoxo

Tamra Lawson-Webb (Johnson)

3 thoughts on “when life gets tough..and it sometimes will

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